Hot Sex And Children: My Advice

I would like to share an interesting theory I learned about from two independent-yet-dependable sources concerning human pregnancy, and it's potentially some of the most important advice a couple could be given, which makes me think maybe it's bullshit.

Anyway, it's a theory on how to give yourself a better chance of conceiving a boy or a girl, depending on what the couple might prefer. I share it with you now because I'm a great guy.

Johns Hopkins University,

home of the Possessive-Apostrophe Fighters

The theory goes like this: supposedly there are "masculine" and "feminine" sperm—sperm that are more likely to result in a boy, and sperm that are more likely to result in a girl, respectively (sperm  have tremendous respect)—and both kinds of sperm kind of act like their human equivalents: the masculine sperm are stronger but die quicker, and the feminine sperm are weaker but live longer. It stands to reason, then, that if you want to have a boy, the man should try to ejaculate as hard as he can while he's as deep inside the woman as possible, which would give the stronger and shorter-living masculine sperm a better chance of fertilizing the egg, and the opposite would also be true: a "shallow" ejaculation gives the longer-living, longer-swimming feminine sperm the advantage.

I don't know if it's true—I got my PhQ-MBO in Reproductive Endocrinologistics at Johns Hopkins, but my studies were not in this particular field—but I think the theory makes a lot of sense, especially when you consider the overabundance of female babies in China (what with the men's tiny penises and all).

The Chinese government strongly suggests 

ejaculating as deeply inside her vagina as possible

Of course, for the couple that wants to have a baby but doesn't have a sex-preference, the experts suggest a "medium" ejaculation.

Obviously, this isn't an exact method for fetus-sex-determination, but this isn't exactly a medical blog.

However, if it is true, I can see why it's not that commonly known: how ridiculously uncomfortable would this theory have been if I'd been telling it to you in real life?

Fortunately, I'm not there, so vagina peepie boner.