Facebook made me want to kill myself.
Why?
When I conjure the idea of Facebook, I see all those women and their ubiquitous pictures of the fungible children they adore gushingly . . . all those dudes with their arms around pretty girls, both smiling into the camera, certainly mere hours from The Big Sloppy Hug That Dan Never Gets . . . all those humorous, personal thoughts that I put out there, and I would get two "likes" from the same two people—my personal thoughts receiving no other response at all from a community of hundreds of people who called themselves my friends . . . trying to connect with women I wanted to sleep with in high school/college and not receiving any replies there, either . . . seeing a running list of things my friends were doing with their lives, all the parties and celebrations and dates and occasions they were partying and celebrating and dating and occurring . . . while my life continued to turn to ever-uglier shades of pathetic oblivion.
"I'm proof that my parents loved each other, even if only briefly;
do you have any proof that anyone has ever loved you, Dan?"
I have no job, no girlfriend, no wife, no children, and very little reason to live.
To me, Facebook might as well have been called "Sour Grapes."
So why would I stay? I had nothing to offer others, and they offered nothing to me but a daily series of reminders that everyone is up to something substantial in their life while I could best be described as an amalgam of Charlie and Frank from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
"We connect on so many levels!
Do you connect with anyone on any level, Dan?"
Back in college, one of my roommates said, "Dan, you know how they say there's someone out there for everyone? I really don't think there's anyone out there for you."
So far, he's been right, and Facebook was just further proof. Six years and 500 million users, and not a single connection.
So . . . I contacted Facebook and asked that they permanently delete my account.
Now I have a blog, in 2011.
I wish I were dead.
gotta admit that I like your honesty, the only reason anybody does anything is because they want to get laid. but, the non-sexual term for that would be "making a connection". otherwise, i think people just join facebook measure their life is working out vs. their peers. facebook is just a life barometer. who's alive, who's dead? who's married, who's divorced? who has kids, who has dogs? i think the truly interesting people don't have fb accounts. i'm glad your not dead. fb does not have that much power.
ReplyDeleteMy theory that I'm still 14 years old is proving astonishingly accurate: http://boston.cbslocal.com/2011/03/28/doctors-warn-about-facebook-depression-in-teens/
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